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Sitting Backwards on the Potty

(Can Be Sung to the Tune of “Iko Iko”)

By Steve Watkins

Need some place to lean my head
Sitting backwards on the potty
Stay too long my bum gets red
Sitting backwards on the john.

Got my little army men
Sitting backwards on the potty
On the tank lined end to end
Sitting backwards on the john.

CHORUS:
[Turned around] Backwards (Backwards)
Backwards (Backwards)
To get my business done
Sit that way for Number Two
Sometimes Number One.

Brand new X-Men comic book
Sitting backwards on the potty
Propped up while I take a look
Sitting backwards on the john.

Brother knocking at the door
Sitting backwards on the potty
Tell him fifteen minutes more
Sitting backwards on the john.

CHORUS:
[Turned around] Backwards (Backwards)
Backwards (Backwards)
To get my business done
Sit that way for Number Two
Sometimes Number One.

Lots of things to do in there
Sitting backwards on the potty
No one getting in my hair
Sitting backwards on the john.

My mom says she thinks it’s wrong
Sitting backwards on the potty
But where else could I write this song?
Sitting backwards on the john.

CHORUS:
[Turned around] Backwards (Backwards)
Backwards (Backwards)
To get my business done
Sit that way for Number Two
Sometimes Number One.

Don’t know why there’s such a fuss
Sitting backwards on the potty
When I’m done I always flush
Sitting backwards on the john.

*** 

Steve Watkins, editor and co-founder of Pie & Chai, is the author of 12 books, a retired professor emeritus of American literature, a recovering yoga teacher, and the father of four remarkable daughters. He is also a tree steward with the urban reforestation organization Tree Fredericksburg and founder of Rappahannock Area Beaver Believers, a wildlife advocacy group, which you’re welcome to join on Facebook. His author website is stevewatkinsbooks.com.