Mexico’s Just Sitting There Waiting for You. Step on It.
By Hugh Lowry
Dear Donald,
I am gratified to hear your praise of dictators in general, and of me in particular. Finally, an American president has shown the good sense to consider moving beyond the will of the rabble. But so far you are all talk and no action. Take the next step, not because the people tell you to, but because you say so.
This “beautiful wall” you keep going on about is ridiculous. It will just slow you down when you take action. Dealing with the illegal immigrants combined with the need to stop the drug smuggling is more than enough provocation to invade Mexico. (There are probably enough weapons in the hands of Texas citizens for a successful assault.)
A dictator must take a stand. No more trying to win support by being pitiful. Have you heard me whine about bad press? “Those reporters are so mean with their fake news.” “My people let me down.” “Witch hunt.” “You ought to like me.” In all your words and deeds you leave yourself a backdoor. You hint and imply so that your underlings, like Michael Cohen, do your bidding and take the fall. These are not the practices of an autocrat. When you see the time is right, do it, own it, and make no excuses.
I invaded Crimea despite the moral outrage. Russia claimed it, and we got some much-needed shipping access. Just think of the glory and prestige for you and the USA if you “annexed” Mexico. We got some beachfront in Crimea, but nothing so wonderful as Cozumel or the Yucatan. And once you take over, you can put up a 140-mile barrier from the Pacific to the Gulf of Mexico across the Isthmus of Tehuantepec for a fraction of the cost of the 2,000-mile border wall you’re trying to build now.
Consequences? Yes, perhaps. But that is not how a dictator thinks. Who is going to act against you? France? Canada? NATO? Alas, Donald, I do not believe you have what it takes. You are too accustomed to getting your own way with little effort. Your fear of failing and deep insecurity undermine your resolve and will make you a loser in the judgment of history. Autocrats dream big and take bold risks.
Yours, Vladimir
P.S. Why not claim that you thought Ms. Carroll was Marla? They look so much alike.
“Vladimir Putin Carrying His Buddy Donald Trump”/Illustration by DonkeyHotey
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Hugh Lowry is a reformed New Englander who graduated in 1977 from Mary Washington College, where he majored in Frisbee.
